A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
Showing posts with label fish. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fish. Show all posts
Thursday, 10 July 2008
Joke: Fish Heads
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" the customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says Green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $5 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
Joke: The game warden
A redneck was stopped by a game warden just north of Kentucky’s Lake Cumberland recently with two ice chests of fish.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, whut?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
(via)
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, whut?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
(via)
Joke: The game warden
A redneck was stopped by a game warden just north of Kentucky’s Lake Cumberland recently with two ice chests of fish.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, whut?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
(via)
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, my friend, I ain't got no license. These are my pet fish."
"Pet fish?"
"Yep. Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then I whistle and they jump right back into this ice chest and I take 'em home."
"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!"
The redneck looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth. I'll show you. It really works."
"Okay, I've GOT to see this!"
The redneck poured the fish into the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?"
"Well, whut?" said the redneck.
"When are you going to call them back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH!"
"What fish?"
(via)
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Joke: Ice Fishing
A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
Joke: Ice Fishing
A blond decides to go ice fishing one day. She takes her stool and her fishing pole onto the ice, and cuts a big hole. Then a voice says:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Perplexed, the blond moves her stool 100 feet, sits down again and goes to work cutting another hole. Again, the voice said:
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Clearly flustered, she moves the stool to one last spot, sits down, and picks up her auger. Again, the voice boomed:
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"
Finally, she can't take it. She cries out, "God, is that you?"
"NO, I'M THE OWNER OF THIS HOCKEY RINK"
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
Joke: Short Animal Jokes - Fish
What day does a fish hate?
Fry day.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A fsh.
What fish is the brightest?
Sunfish.
What fish is the most valuable?
A goldfish.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw.
What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!
What type of fish play poker?
Card sharks.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What's slippery, lives in the sea and loves Dean Martin?
That's a Moray!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why did the fish cross the road?
Somebody threw it!
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Fry day.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A fsh.
What fish is the brightest?
Sunfish.
What fish is the most valuable?
A goldfish.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw.
What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!
What type of fish play poker?
Card sharks.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What's slippery, lives in the sea and loves Dean Martin?
That's a Moray!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why did the fish cross the road?
Somebody threw it!
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Joke: Short Animal Jokes - Fish
What day does a fish hate?
Fry day.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A fsh.
What fish is the brightest?
Sunfish.
What fish is the most valuable?
A goldfish.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw.
What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!
What type of fish play poker?
Card sharks.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What's slippery, lives in the sea and loves Dean Martin?
That's a Moray!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why did the fish cross the road?
Somebody threw it!
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Fry day.
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam."
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A fsh.
What fish is the brightest?
Sunfish.
What fish is the most valuable?
A goldfish.
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw.
What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!
What type of fish play poker?
Card sharks.
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What's slippery, lives in the sea and loves Dean Martin?
That's a Moray!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why did the fish cross the road?
Somebody threw it!
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
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